We spend so much time trying to fit in, impress the boss, influence colleagues, please the family and so on that we rarely give ourselves any attention. But successful relationships with others begin with being kind to ourselves.
1. Big yourself up.
Write down 20 things you did well this month, no matter how trivial. From being a supportive friend to smashing a personal best, what does the list tell you you’re good at? Take time to feel proud of your achievements.
2. Do what you’re best at.
Most of us shine at something. Happiness comes when we spend more time doing it. One successful entrepreneur explained “I figured out what I liked and found someone to pay me to do it.” Write down 5 things you’re great at and plan how you’ll find more time to do them.
3. Look out for the praise.
It’s easy to brush off, but there are people out there who admire you. Become more sensitive to their signals. Think about how you act around somebody you like and watch out for similar behavior in others around you. Once you’re attuned to it you’ll spot it more and more.
4. Focus on your actions.
There’s no point in worrying about things out of your control. Instead of feeling helpless, consider what you can do to positively influence the situation, then do it. Concentrating on action and congratulating yourself for doing it helps to wipe worry away.
5. Stop catastrophizing.
When things go wrong it’s easy to let negative thoughts spiral out of control: ‘I’m always going to be a failure’. Stop them. Reframe negative events as temporary and specific to the situation. Daily missteps are just that: bin them and move on.